Days of Old and What's to Come

Expect Part 1 of a three part discussion to be posted by the end of this weekend.

In the meantime...check this link about utilizing analog methods :)

http://the99percent.com/tips/6915/how-analog-rituals-can-amp-your-productivity

Buzzin' in my head

This song has been playing in my head over and over for the last couple of days to the point where you'll catch me singing it in school.

No post today, just sharing some good times :)

Self Perception <--> Self-Reality

It's been a while since I posted something up. Many many things have happened within the last 2 weeks which are very hard to characterize, understand, and discuss. Not to say that I haven't been thinking and jonesing to put something down on paper to represent my thoughts.

The issue of self-perception isn't an issue unless you question your "self". Perhaps you see that as a simple statement but how often do you find yourself questioning your day to day thoughts, actions, and feelings? Very rarely do we get a chance to take a different perspective than our usual while still being in our current vessels. Many of us step out our vessel and obtain that different perspective through drugs; as drugs provide us with an altered state of mind and thus an altered perspective.

Breaking from standard conversational essay format, I'd like to give you a word of advice. Understand that if you begin to use a drug and begin to like it (and do it chronically) because of the perspective it provides, you must be able to take away the special set of lenses it gives you and not use it as a crutch. That is, learn how to apply the altered perspective without the drug being present in your system. If you're able to do this the drug will never ru(i)n your life as at any point in time you will be able to give it up (because its benefits will be in you always). The struggles with addiction are another topic I will eventually cover.

Moving on.

Some of us have other methods of the altered perspective: immersing yourself in the world of a book, religious and non-religious meditation, and empathetically reading the news are some to name. As far as I've come in life, I've determined one thing...one cannot say one method is any more valid than the next; what is important is greatest reproducibility with the least amount of harm.

The way we perceive ourselves is a complex thing, and even more complex is the way we construct our reality.

For a long while, the way I saw myself was through the way other people saw me. The times I felt most complete and most valid was when I was in focus, when I was in praise. The times I felt the worst was when I felt like my image/likelihood dropped out of people's minds. I suppose this could be a manifestation of the "Hero Child" complex. Needless to say, this is a dangerous way of thought as if the world is gone and you are left all alone you have essentially made yourself "worthless".

For a long while I've also noticed that this is the way a good portion of people live.

-The Owl: Always looking over their shoulders to see if anyone is looking (and judging) at them.

-The Actor: Taking on a personality type that is thought to impress. These include the meat-head, the fool (the ditz), the jester (whose comedy is at the expense of themselves), the loud-obnoxious-coarse one, the focal druggie, etc.

-The Prophylactic: The person who has prepared responses and phrases for the situations they perceive will come. Sarah Palin.

This is a very up and down lifestyle that lacks stability; and I assure you that if you aren't there yet, one day you will seek to trade the "excitement" of instability for the peace of stability.

There is a simple solution, the way you perceive yourself should not at all be based on how people perceive you. The way people perceive you is based on your actions, and your actions should be your own. Seek not the approval of others before you say something, think something, or do something; simply do. By allowing the influence of others to affect how you see yourself, you are effectively measuring your worth. And if there is one thing my battle with cancer taught me was that you as a human are worth more than worth can be characterized. You are infinitely important to the world and there is so much you can do for it (especially with good health); so don't waste your time buried in creating the "perfect" image. Learn to stand on your own two feet with what you have, make targets for what you want to change, create a plan for change, and then enact the plan. If you lock this down, the way you perceive yourself will never be affected unduly by the world around you.

As I mentioned, the issue of your reality is a lot more complex than any other and it is something I've only recently grasped, and most importantly, come to terms with. The way you perceive your reality is a combination of two things, explained by this equation:

Reality = the way It Is + the way You Want it to Be.

-With the way it is being fixed (or essentially out of your control).

-And the way you want it to be, which is obviously variable.

This is why everyone's reality differs, because each individual contributes to how they want it to be. So that's the aspect I want to go into

It's ok to have goals of how you want your future to look, how you want your reality to be. But it's not okay to allow your self-perception to be affected by the way you want it to be.

Read that last part again because it's an important point to understand.

That is to say, you begin to get into dangerous territory when you start to let the way you see your perception of reality be influenced by who you want to be (especially when it comes to our relationships with each other. Instead make who you want to be your reality.

Why this becomes problematic is because often we find ourselves living in a false reality where we firmly label things beyond what they actually are.

To make this easier to understand I will provide you with two examples.

Imagine there is a girl in your life who you meet and you become infatuated with. You label her as your partner-to-be, your reason to change, votre raison d'etre. You begin to pursue her and she resists but you continue to persist because in your mind you perceive her to be your savior, the one who will make you feel complete.

Or

You believe that once you get "that job" you'll have everything you want. You'll have all the money you want and thus you'll have the life you want. Then with that job you want you'll get that girl you want, and she'll be...well...refer to above.

~

Essentially the lesson is that you should not live your life in someone else's image, under someone else's values, or someone else's choices. If you don't you might wake up one day and realize that everything you've done isn't actually you.

Make the necessary changes and take the steps required for you to live your life the way you want. Be the person who YOU want to be and actuate the values that YOU care for.

...do not be afraid to be you...

Evol

Hey lovely readers...

Here's something on the topic of true friendship and most importantly love.

Above all else, you should have love in your life:

-Keep lifelong ties with those who love life.

-Keep yourself around those who care for you and are not judgmental.

-Keep looking for people to spread love to and who will help you do so.

And never forget those you came up with, those who helped build you; because those are the ones that will accept you for whoever you are (as long as they satisfy the above conditions).

It takes a lot for you to see,

The true colours of the sea.

Take a look at all these fish,

And realize that many don't come free.

This isn't only about snagging a mate,

Pursuit of which will make you irate.

No this is also about the ones you call your friends,

Those who say they're always there for you.

The ones who ride with you till the end.

Those people who are still there when the shit hits the fan.

The people who posture you up when things slip outta your hands.

Those people who come by when you say you can't move.

Or when the sight of food just makes you wanna puke.

To the boys who come with you to the gates of hell

So that someday soon they can see you well.

To the girls who'll share the pain,

Watch you writhe,

Help you cry,

And be your rock when times make you insane.

It's hard to find these few that say they truly care for you.

Leave behind those with false promises,

Cause they're just chemo-toxic;

Leave you vomittin'.

Watch out for those with the jaded eyes.

I've seen too many of these just fixed on the green,

Baby break those ties.

Don't ever judge a book by its cover.

Just cause his religion's different don't mean he ain't your brother.

Just cause her colour's different she's no different than any other.

You get the picture; we all come from the same earth mother.

Yea, I'm really happy to speak about it today

that I've found the girl of my dreams and friends like Vinny Chase.

Just get ready for it team, we're bout to get started on this Amazing Race.

Thank you all who really cared for me,

Kept me going when my living became unbearable

Told me the future won't be comparable

And listen up, it's love that's the lesson of this parable.

Forever be at Peace

Yesterday we all lost a most cherished, wonderful soul. He was a friend since day one and it's hard to conceive that he's moved on now. I don't know what happens afterwards man but I would give up the afterlife if it meant that you will forever be at peace.

I want everyone to know that there's nothing you can't talk about to me. I will always be available if you need someone to listen, I don't ever judge what you say and it will always remain that way. If you ever feel like you're alone, don't, because as long as I'm alive I will be there for you; friend or stranger. Whether I know you or not, every human life is important to me and if your spirit is in pain, I am there to share in that pain with you. Please never consider the gravest of options, there's no reason to, because you always have someone who loves you for who you are.

I wrote this today in memory of you..it's not complete and it never will be but this is the start. I guess right now it's just helping me deal with the situation. There are so many songs that remind me of you, so many things we shared together...but this one is one that stands out, this one brings the fondest memories about.

I love you man, I'll see you on the other side.

There's just so much about you that I'll never forget.

The fact that I couldn't say goodbye is one of my biggest regrets.

You were such a wonderful soul, your smile was the proof.

It's hard to know you're really gone, it's tough to accept the truth.

I wish you could've brought it up to me.

I would've never minded sharing the pain.

We should've grown old together man.

We would've conquered this fucking game.

What's worse to know was that you were tormented so,

And that there was nothing we could do.

You represented so much of my life, I feel like with your passing I lost a part of my youth.

And make sure you understand that I'll never ever blame you.

You were like a brother to me, and I wish yesterday wasn't true.

I'm not gonna talk about all those days that I remember.

Those memories are ours, and to them forever I will hold an ember.

I really thank you for our time together;

You have no idea how much your soul meant to us.

Strengthened us.

And as people, made us better.

P.S.

Play the music while reading.

D*bstep

I'm hoping a lot of you can relate to this, male or female.

I think we've all found ourselves in tricky situations like this; some of us once, twice, or infinitely.

And I'm hoping after you read this that you realize you're not alone. But particularly, I hope you don't make the same mistake again.

The music that inspired me to this would be...dubstep. Since dubstep is such a large genre at this point, I think this clip+song best represents its essence of freeing yourself; from judgement especially.

This tiny little blurb might relate to everyone on the earth.

For all the people who made that one guy or girl their world.

Its meant for all you people who gave your soul to find an equal

Put yourself all out on the table only to get strung along on her cable.

You just gone and let yourself go cause you felt like they were your one fo sho'.

You start ignoring all your friend and calls just to be in their presence a little mo'.

All your friends say this shit ain't right, but you just keep pining for this girl.

Cause in your head she'll come around and make you feel this whole wide world.

Most of us snap back to reality

Stop going across the street, drop all that suicdality.

Cause you know you've lived without her

and that surely there'll be another.

So it seems like lesson learned...

You say you'll never get played again...

But we're all human, we all make mistakes...

And from our emotions we can't abstain.

I guess this shits just a reminder,

To let you know that you're not alone.

Listen carefully everyone, prevention is the key.

Always stand tall on your two feet, trust your instincts and believe.

Sometimes I forget to remember you, here's my reminder.

Eminem's "Stan" can put you in the right mood for this one.

I'm having a hard time remembering the better days

I think we laughed and used to play.

You gave me my nickname it sounds so damn silly to me.

I wish I knew what it meant to you, problem is my memory's grey.

Remember what I said to you that fateful day

Man I'll never forget its what kept my life at bay.

It was something like "can I come with you mom"

to which you replied "no son, just not today"

They say you know when your day has come

I always wonder if that was true with you.

If that was the case I hope we enjoyed that day

Cause from there on out my skies were grey.

And then you gone and left, simply leaving your ashes behind.

Your departure blazed a trail for my life, creating a destiny in my mind.

But I promise I'm not mad, i'll never ever blame you.

Because through the fire forged a man of worldly love & stronger virtue.

I gotta tell you that my grade 2 days just weren't that bright

Spending those dark days of my youth at sunnybrook.

I think I talked to you everyday, conversations just didn't feel right.

Cause whenever I would come around you kept giving me that blank look.

Were you still there when I held your hand?

Did you get a chance to feel that bear I brought?

Will you ever know about the pain that wrought the man you see today?

So suddenly they took me away, what was going on they wouldn't say.

It was only a week later I found out about the decision made.

The truth became apparent seeing all your faces in complete dismay.

Just like it was taken outta Revelations, it felt like the end of days.

Don't judge me cause I was angry and resourceful.

I didn't know who to blame.

So I felt like I should be the hand of god.

Reciprocate and do the same.

So I had him all found out, this shit was perfectly planned.

And then I realized that all this shit was pretty fucked up.

Kinda like that shit I heard in Stan.

I decided to grow up Mom and be a better man.

To embark on a journey of without judgement it was anger I would disband.

There was no one I could blame; not you, me or him.

Because events like this build character and I wanna fill it to the brim.

Many questions left unanswered, many lessons left untaught.

But maybe thats what makes me the fabled "man of the future"

Missing the nurture of nature letting me be open to my entourage of tutors.

Because without you guys around me, my friends, family and supporters.

I'd probably still be that guy wasting his life away burning...

Forewordism

Maybe one day I'll perfect the art of a good foreword (this is my first), for now this is its -ism.

The following is a collection of my interests, experiences and thoughts past, present, and future; presented in a manner that seems to flow well for me and provide readability for you.

Everything that you read is true for I've no reason to lie; the truth will always set you free. If you don't believe me stick around and see.

This is a commentary on my life and how I see the world, however in the greater picture, it's a different perspective on where we are as a society. "There's a lot going on nowadays" with a great deal of misinformation on that which is happening. The advent of internet news made it possible for us to receive the abstracts of the events around us however it has rendered some of us unable to analyze the results and draw our own conclusions. In other words, you can believe everything you read but you must understand that every published piece of information has someone's personal interests behind it.

My personal interests in publishing is to bring balance to my life by restoring the creativity that has been a long-time clouded.

So how was that for developing my forewording?